Wtfwjd?

The biggest problem with being awake at nearly 4A.M. is that you wanna write a blog, but fully understand that whatever you write will sound stupid, or worse, sappy emotional, thus catapulting the blog into the depths of triviality (if it has depths) and a scary baggagey, get-the-heck-over-it kind of world of blogging. Pretty soon people stop reading. You start to hate your own blog, and then you abandon it only to return three years later to delete it (unless you are Ben, in which case, you change the url and continue as you were because it never went bad actually, just got forgotten about).

What's even worse is the possibility that you start to write a second paragraph, knowing that if you start a second paragraph, you'll have to finish it. And everyone knows that a paragraph must have approximately 3-5 complete sentences to really be considered a decent paragraph, and everyone knows that an English major would not leave an indecent paragraph hanging out in public for everyone to see unless it was a stylistic decision. But everyone knows that stylistic decisions generally come in quantity, not quality, at 4A.M.

And beyond even subsequent paragraphs, comes the danger of staying awake for even longer. Sure, you may be able to justify catching up on Grey's Anatomy all in one night, even though its not a good show (at least Burke is gone and the Chief race is over), but you cannot really justify staying up even after those three episodes to write a silly little thing.

But you will look up at the clock and realize that even beginning a fourth paragraph, it is still only 4:04A.M. because you've written quickly and you've been rounding up to 4A.M. for the last 15 minutes. And then you will wonder how to shut down you brain and you will think about the desserts you will make tomorrow and the people you will call. You will make a note not to forget to call the new girl at church and to be sure to go get that temp job at the fruitstand even though you really would rather not. And you will think that you miss people who are where ever they are (hallelujah). You will wonder if leaving the country for ten months will answer the questions in your mind... and right when you get there, you will sense yourself slipping into diary mode and try to decide if you should delete everything or just go ahead and post it. You'll read it over, think about it until 4:12A.M. and then just go ahead and post the dumb (ha) thing. You'll try to remember to post something intellectual next time, and wish mac keyboards had the "delete" key that takes out the stuff to the right of the cursor.